BE YOUR BEST SELF - habit that runs you

Building Self-Appreciation Until It Becomes A Habit That Runs You - Be Your Best Self - A Daily Practice To Silence Your Inner Critic

Laura Mariani

ThePeopleAlchemist Edit: Be your best self - #SmashYourCeiling, change starts from within -Business & Lifestyle Experimentation for #TheWomanAlchemist

Hello there, after a weekend of rest and relaxation (I hope you had fun too), it is time to start building on the last two weeks challenges until Self-appreciation becomes a habit that runs you. We are creatures of habit: 95% of our decisions are made without using our conscious mind. And this happens in a millisecond with our subconscious, driven by routine and automatisms. Unfortunately, a few days are not sufficient to change your habit. And to free yourself from your old paradigms (including, in the case of Self-appreciation, the bitchy Inner Critic). Yes, challenges are good fun. But they are not enough to ingrain what has been learnt into the subconscious so much so that it becomes a belief that runs you. For this, you need routines.


Twenty-one days is often used as the time it takes to build a new habit. Why is that? In The 1950s, Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon, noticed a strange pattern among his patients. He noticed that the average patient took about 21 days to get used to their new face post-surgery. Ditto, patients with limb amputation. They would sense a phantom limb for about 21 days before adjusting to the new situation. These experiences led Maltz to think about behavioural changes.

21 OR 66 DAYS?

Maltz went on to say that a minimum of about 21 days is required for an old mental image to dissipate. And a new one to stick. He said so in his best-selling book "Psycho-Cybernetics". But the "minimum of about 21 days" became just 21 days. And there goes the myth. Psychologist Dr Philippa Lally developed an experiment to find out how long does it take to establish and cement a new habit at University College London. The study showed it takes around 66 days to go from conscious execution to automation. The brain prefrontal cortex builds like a muscle (the area gets actually physically larger) with practice. And then it is "reprogrammed" with new neuropathways. But after 90 days, the habit becomes a lifestyle. You see, willpower is a limited resource that is depleted by resisting temptations. AND making constant decisions. Good habits help prevent this; they require no decisions. Of course, when you start out you require willpower before whatever it is (in this case Self-appreciation) becomes a habit. But once it has taken root, you can take your hands off the wheel and go on autopilot. Self-discipline, and Self-Love, is continuously choosing to think, say and do what is in your best interest. Success is a habit. Self-acceptance is a habit. Self-appreciation is a habit. And Self-love is a habit. You CAN build a habit that runs you. Start small but dream big and watch how Self-appreciation will become part of you over time. See you tomorrow to build a powerful Self-appreciation morning routine x


the Power of Habit

"The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg. Change starts from within. In this book, cutting-edge behavioural science and practical self-improvement action advice come together to reveal the secret pressure points that can change a life. Habits can make all the difference between failure and success. This applies to any habit from exercise to weight loss, from business to personal life. Habits aren't destiny. They're science. Available on Amazon. Change starts from within; that’s why training your consciousness should be your Priority Numero 1 – a daily practice to silence your inner critic.
Back to blog

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.

Laura Mariani Best Selling Author, Content Creator and Change & Transformation Expert

Hi there, I hope you enjoyed this post. Please do provide me with feedback.

I want to hear ‘the good, the bad and the ugly’. If you disagree with me or want to provide a different perspective, leave a comment. Tell me what’s on your mind.

Do remember though to be respectful and kind – we can agree to disagree, no need to be nasty. Thank you.


Laura xxx

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in my posts are ‘affiliate links‘. This means that if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission, for example as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. This is at no extra cost to you. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and absolutely would recommend to my readers.