ThePeopleAlchemist Edit: Business & Lifestyle Experimentation for #TheWomanAlchemist #SmashYourCeiling #MotivationMonday - Love yourself enough to choose YOU
In the last Motivation Monday blog, I talked about BE Extraordinary rather than Average. But becoming extraordinary does not happen overnight, just like that. We are what we do on a consistent basis. In the same way that you do not develop a six-pack ( muscle etc.) by going to the gym once, you don't become extraordinary by doing the right thing just once.
But firstly ..
DEFINE WHAT EXTRAORDINARY MEANS TO YOU
You need first to decide what you want your life, career, body, whatever that is, to look like.
What does it mean to you to be extraordinary? Not someone else's definition, your definition. It is your life, and you want to arrive at the ripe age of ninety or more, satisfied, happy and with at least regrets as possible.
Be clear and specific. This is not just about defining goals, but it is also about defining standards. For example, you want to have good health. OK, who doesn't? But what does it mean to you? Being able to have enough energy to travel the world, or ... blah blah blah (fill in the blanks). Same with career, beauty, love life and so on.
What are your standards? Then you can plan activities that can help you to get to those standards and maintain them. But the secret here is to plan those chosen activities into daily routines, habits that you stick to no matter what.
REPETITION AND DISCIPLINE
You are what you habitually do. And what habitually do determines how you feel every day and what you achieve. If what you do has not become engrained in your psyche so much that it becomes you, in times of trouble/stress and soo you will revert to base (the old substandard you), or you will stray easily and sefl-sabotage. And then you're going to regret it, blame yourself, a bit of self-loathing, and you get discouraged.
Creating a simple, easy-to-do routine that you practice every day, no matter what will develop the new extraordinary you according to the standards that you have defined for yourself. And you will do so step by step, until it becomes you. And then you won't need to think about it, even in not-so-good times.
My first tip is not to overdo it. I speak from experience. I suffer from
perfectionitis myself, and everything has to be 'right-so' so I tend to start full guns blazing and overload myself, which is not sustainable. What has worked for me is to create simple small habits that I do daily, my core routine, and then I have a menu of things that I choose from if and when I have the time or the inclination.
This requires discipline and repetition.
Yes, I said it before, and I will say it again (repetition, right?). Our brain learns by repetition, and you must repeat things enough times until they become things you do without thinking.
Discipline equals self-love: it is loving yourself enough to choose things that are in your best interest rather than things that are comfortable or easy, or just habitual. You need to choose yourself daily, consistently. Do what is in your best interest no matter what. And no, I am not advocating being selfish in the sense that you do not care about other people. I advocate being selfish in the sense you put yourself in the position to become the best person you can be according to the standards you have defined. To have a fulfilling and happy life. Being a high-standard extraordinary, and fulfilled individual will make you more capable and able to serve others from a position of joy and strength, not a position of weakness and obligation.
LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO CHOOSE YOU
Love yourself more by choosing yourself every day and what is in your best interest. Remember, Self-love is a habit - continuously choosing to think, say and do what is in your best interest. We are talking about unconditional, emotional, deep love and passion. The-I-love-you-no-matter-what which we do naturally for partners and children. It's not that we don't see their faults (common, we do). However, they are irrelevant and don't affect our love.
Isn’t it time we did the same for ourselves?
I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME: I LOVE ME
If you don't know where to start and you need help, I have written
“I don’t care if you don’t like me: I LOVE ME - 28 Ways to Love Yourself More”, a self-love book with guided practices for women.
Here you will find 28 quick and easy ways to love yourself more every day with techniques that you can try out and then adopt going forward.
Day by day, all these little practices stack up and compound, creating a domino effect, not visible at the beginning but with a massive impact as you move along.
You can buy it from
Amazon or all major retailers/bookshops.
28 WAYS TO LOVE YOURSELF MORE
I have also put together a
28 Days To Love Yourself More planner and guided journal.
This planner/guided journal is not a traditional one; it was envisaged both as a complement to the “I don’t care if you don’t like me: I LOVE ME! - 28 Ways To Love Yourself More” book and also as a stand-alone vehicle for practising self-love every day.
It provides a “framework” for your self-love journey and enables you to practice habits that serve you in line with the book with tools to support you in shaping and defining your vision and ultimately help you to achieve your career goals and your future.
You can buy it from
Amazon or all major retailers/bookshops.
Whatever you do, choose yourself, and love yourself more.
Ready? Let’s go!
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Business & Lifestyle Experimentation Blog for #TheWomanAlchemist #SmashYourCeiling
